Daniel: I’m looking forward to NOT seeing you moping around anymore. You’re annoying.
Me: Let me be. Go away.
Daniel: HK made you a Parship account and I made you a Tinder account – go on it! Swipe woman swipe!
Me: I did. Don’t like their faces.
Daniel: That’s cause you are still stuck on him. He won’t ever get back with you. You know that right?
Me *agitated*: Yes. Don’t need you to spell that out. It’s God-damn-8-in-the-morning!!! I have enough functioning brain-cells not Mensur auf Schläger eachother till death to figure that out by myself.
Daniel *humming*: You probably think this song is about you…
Me: I know he played me… just let me be miserable… I trusted someone enough to let him in, and got screwed-over! Happy?!?! I have to work!
Daniel *making crazy hand gestures*: Oooooo… someone’s touchy.
Me: Don’t you have some woman in Germany or Netherlands to sex-text and annoy? Leave me alone!!!!
Daniel *taking my phone*: Fine. If you don’t swipe, I’ll swipe for you. You are going out on a date.
Me: You swipe. You type. You date. Let me be miserable in my corner and work.
Daniel *opening Tinder on my phone*: Such drama. Much Queen. Wow!
Me: What will I do with… oh he has nice eyes… just like… damn. Damn. Damn. I need coffee. Damn this hurts. This hurts bad.
Daniel *typing and voicing what he is typing*: Bist du auf der suche nach dem gleichen?
Me: What same search? Just tell me how to start the coffee machine. Nothing works!
Daniel: I’m not helping you with this. Just think why.
Me *blinking very confused*: What?